Friday, August 14, 2015

Lessons Learned....Blessed be the name of the Lord...

I wrote this 3 months ago and have been waiting for the right time to post it. I have written quite a few short things about all that I have learned through this life trial. I am still learning and I still have to have an attitude check every once in a while. I am thankful for all that I have learned and how the Lord has molded me to be more like Him.

It's been two months (almost to the day) that we left our church (our job) and while in some ways it has been such a relief in other ways it has been stressful and downright hard. I am a planner and I like to have everything planned out. I have my 5year "plan" and my 10 year "plan" but sometimes God says, "That might be your plan but it's not MY plan for you!" I have learned so much about trusting God (see my last post) and I have also learned a lot about realizing that when things don't go the way I want or the way I *think* they should go God still loves me. I have been a believer since I was 5yrs old. Now, granted, my life with Christ has grown and changed over the years. There have been different challenges and they have made me more like Christ. I wish I could say that I always had the right attitude and I was always happy about my circumstances. But that would be a lie. It is hard and I feel like the last 2 months I have struggled more than ever and in that struggle I have grown more than ever.

Just this morning, I was reading an article that a lady wrote about losing her baby at 9 months pregnant. As I was reading her article, my stomach sank and I thought, Dear God, my body would not be able to physically take something like that happening to me. After what I have been through the last 6 months there is NO. WAY!! How is this woman doing it!?! As article went on the lady was saying that she rested in the book of Job and God let Satan take so much from Job, even all his children in 1 day! Say What?!?!? I have read Job and I knew that all that happened. The Lord used this article by a stranger and her sharing about resting in the Scriptures; to show me that my life is GOOD! God does love me always has and always will. The Lord cares about my family and has provided for us in the last few months in ways I never would have imagined!!

Oh Lord, Thank you for revealing to me Scriptures about a man that has such faith! I have my husband and my kids. The Lord could take so much more from me and I need to be like Job and rest in You, oh Lord!! No matter what comes my way, I will rest in the God who loves and who cares for me more than anyone else ever could! That is why I am here doing what I am doing. Lord, help my life circumstances be an encouragement to someone else, just like the lady in this article I read and like Job. Absolutely amazing and honorable!

There is so much to learn! Even things I have read many times before in the Scripture resinate with me differently when I am in different circumstances. Life isn't going to be easy as a believer in Christ but it is always rewarding!!

"Praise the Lord from whom all blessings flow!"
"The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord!"

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Trust in the Lord

"Trust in the Lord" this phrase is used regularly in the Christian cirlces or the southern "Bible Belt", if you will. It is a phrase that has become oh so real to me over the past 6 months. The Lord has tested me to a point where I wondered if He really was testing me beyond that I could handle. He doesn't. He uses fire of sin and circumstances to refine us and make us more like Him! The past 6 months has been some serious heat over here refining me! We figured out in November of 2014 that Derek would probably be getting laid off from his job. You're probably thinking, "Wait?!? isn't your husband a youth pastor?" Yep! You're right! He is. The church took on a bit more than what they could handle financially. We started losing members and cash flow. We realized very quickly we didn't have much time. This was our full-time income (and really wasn't much). So here I was fretting because churches are pretty well known for taking ages and ages to hire to positions. We don't have time for that. We have to find something quickly! So the job search began! Things continued to go downhill financially at our church and we knew it was time to leave. We are leaving our full-time income and have nothing else! Oh my goodness!!! I realized (not quickly enough) through all of this that Trusting the the Lord....this is when it counts. I went through some pretty major anxiety and had to go to my doctor for nausea medicine. It was so bad I would have days where I could rarely eat 3 meals. At least one meal a day I was feeling so ill I couldn't eat. And in fact, there was a time (I'm not proud of) that I went 36 hours without eating a thing because I was so nauseated I knew it would not set well. It was dizzy, weak and ended up making myself eat!

Then it hit me! This time right NOW is when Trusting the Lord counts. I was thoroughly embarrassed that I had had such anxiety. What was I thinking. Of course, God knew that this would happen and of course, He is going to take care of us! Why am I so worried?!?

Because I'm human! That's why. Because I was (and still do at times) find my security in financial stability. Even though we didn't have much income. We had income. I knew that our mortgage would be paid and that we would have food on the table. Now that we have only a part-time income. I should be on the bathroom floor crying, getting sick,  and not eating, right?!? Well, praise the Lord! Im not.  The Lord has done such a work in my heart, to rely on Him! I am trusting in Him now, so that later when He shows us His plan that He has had for us all along, I can affirmingly say that I trusted Him! I can say that I trusted that He had a good plan for our family.  I don't know what that will look like and I don't know when we will see it. But what I do know. Is that I serve a good God. I serve a God that Loves me and loves my family more than I ever can! The phrase "Trust in the Lord" has taken on a whole new meaning to me over the past 6 months and I think it will forever mean more to than it ever has when I say or hear the phrase, "Trust in the Lord".

Thursday, January 1, 2015


I forgot to write my finishing post to P90X. We finished it right before Thanksgiving so I guess I just got busy with the holidays and forgot to post about finishing. It was one of the hardest but most rewarding things I have ever done! It is just over 90 days of workouts 6 days a week and each workout was about 1hr-1.5hrs. It took all of naptime, which probably actually helped me to lose weight because naptime is when I get into trouble. haha. Thats when I like to get snacks and veg on the couch watching my favorite TV show (this is when I would get in my chick flicks that Derek didn't want to watch with me!!! ;-) ) So anyway, when I replaced that with working out it helped my calorie intake a lot! I lost 13lbs and 5" total! It was pretty impressed with the loss that I experienced. It got me back to below highschool size and weight. I didn't realize that until I found some old pants at my parents house that were from high school and i realized they were too big! I have decided to start Insanity (another Beachbody workout). It is a little harder to be motivated with this workout since I have gotten to a comfortable weight. I think I will be motivated for the hubs!! He still has a little more weight he wants to lose. He has done sooo well! I have been so proud of him and how well he has done losing weight.

So...Here is a finished picture that Hubby and I took when we finished P90X!!! =)

Thursday, September 25, 2014

P90X - Update

I am officially 1/2 way through P90X workout. It has been hard but oh so rewarding! I said in my last post that I would write a follow up to let all 2 readers (if that) know how things were going. It has been most challenging and I think the hardest part is giving up nap time to workout. I mean, the workouts are hard and challenging but I miss being able to sit on the couch and chill every few days like I use to. If I was having a rough morning nap time was my sanity. Now nap-time is insanity with crazy workouts. haha. Oh well. It has well been worth it. I cannot believe I am half way done. The goal of finishing this is all the more real and it makes me excited to know that it will actually happen. I like seeing tangible ways that a workout of improving one of those is weight loss and the other is general strength. I have tried multiple times this year to go across the monkey bars at the neighborhood park when I am there with my kids. And I was not able to do it. But, a week ago I went across them with the greatest of ease (twice) while we were there. I was so excited. It is a little thing but it was so fun to see a tangible outcome from all the hard work I have been doing. I have also lost more weight. I am so excited that I am about 8lbs. off my final goal. When I set my goal I didn't actually think I could make it there but now there is light at the end of the tunnel. All my hard work for the past 6+ months is paying off. Here is what I have lost. Since I started P90X 6.5 weeks ago I have lost 8lbs. and 2". My total loss since January 2014 is 25lbs. and 6". I am so excited. 8 more lbs. and I will have reached my goal! Its amazing to me what hard work and eating better will do. It feels good to have a new routine and I think when P90X is done I might have to take a little break from working out 6 days a week. It is hard! But like I said when I started the results are well worth it and that is what is driving me on days I really don't feel like doing it!!

Also, Bible Study post update...

I am teaching our youth girls twice a week and doing a women's Bible Study so the blog study has been put on hold for a little while. Maybe when teaching slows down around the Holidays maybe I can do some sort of Christmas series. It is my most FAVORITE time of the year!!! =) It is coming soooo soon!! Thanks for those of you who do continue to read my blog even with my sparatic updates!! =)

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Mommy Body Workouts!

Good gracious!! I don't know about you?! But, our summer has been insanely busy! I feel like most people do have crazy busy summers. I am not sure why it happens that way every year but some how it does. I think we are back for a while though and on a consistent and somewhat "normal" schedule. I don't even really remember what normal is any more! haha. My kiddos are all off from the summer craziness and not in a good sleeping pattern. So you know! We will get back in the groove I'm sure! =)

In the mean time I decided in January that my post pregnancy body was just seriously out of hand. So I started "watching" what I ate. That helped a little but I wasn't losing like I wanted to. So March rolled around and I decided I needed to get serious about this. Hubby joined me and we decided to encourage each other to eat better and start a running routine!! It was great.  I got to where I was able to run 6.2 miles which is a 10k!!! I was so pumped and even better I ran it in 1hr! I was so excited. I hurt for days after that but it was amazing. When June came around. It was so hot and muggy, running was not much of an option. So I gave myself a fitness challenge to workout 6 days a week. And I completed it!! Anyone that knows me well, knows that I am stubborn and when I start something I HAVE to finish it or it really bothers me. haha. So I completed my challenge even though at times it was really hard. During the month of June I completed the 30 Day Shred from start to finish all 3 levels. I decided to take a little bit of a break in July but yet still challenge myself. I started doing P90X videos every other day (or at least a few days a week). This was so awesome and I absolutely loved it. With that being said, I convinced hubby to join me in challenging ourselves to complete the P90X workouts in the 90 days it suggests. This is 6 days a week doing workouts that are at least 1hr/each and then on the 7th day it is either stretching or resting. YIKES!!!! We started this week. It is only day 4 and it has been so challenging but I think it will be even more rewarding!! I will keep you updated on how I am doing with the workout. I am hoping in all of this to lose about 15-20 more pounds and a few more inches. That would be ideal. I also realize that no matter how much weight or inches I lose. I will be in better shape physically and that is what is most important here!! I am excited to see how this finishes!!

And, another thing that has challenged me recently, is seeing moms post on social media about how they have had a baby everything changes and they will never have their old body back! That is totally true! I hold weight so much differently than I use to pre-baby. But it DOES NOT mean that I cant be healthy! Mommas....dont let your babies be a reason that you are unhealthy. If anything, let your babies be a reason you GET healthy!!!

Since January 2014 I have lost 17lbs and 2+".  I am back down to my College weight. I am hoping to lose at least 17lbs more and we will see how many inches. I don't have a specific # I want to meet with inches!  =)

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

My Children are not Mine

I have had a few friends and family announce that they are expecting babies! I love babies and I am so incredibly excited for them!! The way The Lord creates this human being from cells absolutely Blows my mind! It is truely a miracle!

When I was pregnant with my son, I had people tell me things like, "Don't tell people you're pregnant until your are at least 12 weeks. You know, past the 'scary' stage of pregnancy." Then you would hear the horror stories of the ladies that miscarried at 20 weeks. And fear slowly begins to creep into your mind and thoughts. You start worrying about this little life that you are carrying. You feel so much responsibility yet so helpless because there is nothing you can DO.

As i spoke with one of my friends who was just barely pregnant she worried about this and that and I could sense these same fears I had creeping into her mind. I told her, "Look, you cannot worry about these things. You can only trust the Lord" I learned early on in my first pregnancy that my unborn child is not "mine" he is the Lord's.

Once I got through the "scary" part of pregnancy and was as big as a whale. We went to a Birthing Class. No big deal, right?? I mean, I was missing a NCSU football game but you know they lost anyway. Well, it was a big deal because if I felt confidant in any part of raising this child that Lord has put me in charge of it was when it was out of me not inside of me. I LOVE babies as I mentioned before. This is not a new love. I have loved them for years and as friends and family would have babies I was right there to help, to babysit, etc. I was sure of how to care for this child once it was outside of me. That was what I had practiced for so many years with other peoples children! Little did I know going into this class, they would scare you like never before with SIDS! Another mother's worst fear that I had not even thought about before! Good gracious! We left that class and my husband was talking up a storm about the birth and all the things he learned and I was just quiet. As he asked me what was wrong I just went off on this rant about bumpers in the crib, swaddling, and who does this lady think she is telling me all this stuff.  I mean I have never birthed a child but I stinkin know how to raise an infant!! ha. Well, I had to realize once again, "This child is not mine" this child I am carrying, this child that will soon be on the outside is not "mine" he is the Lord's. I have simply been placed as his care giver for a short time of his life.

It finally hit me that no matter how old he gets it is like that "scary" part of pregnancy. Anything could happen. He could get very sick, we could get in a car accident, etc. ANYTHING could happen!! I have to do my best while he was inside of me by taking care of myself and that was all I could do. If the Lord decided to take this child from me, there was nothing I could do. If he decided to take him from me as an infant, there was nothing I could do. I obeyed the "rules" the doctor and hospital set out for me and from there, there was nothing else I could do! My child's life was, is and always will be in the Lord's hands. I will do my best to raise this child to love the Lord and to live a life that honors Him but ultimately he is not mine. He is the Lord's.

This has been something difficult that I had to learn. I thankfully have not had a devastating experience as I am sure many of you have. I am so very thankful for that and am not making light of any of these tragedies that "could" happen. I just realized as I started out as a new mom. That my child is not actually my own. He is the Lord's. It is something ever new mom has to realize or life could be really stressful and fearful!!

Do your best Mommies!! The rest is in the Lord's hands!!!

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Christ is Key

So, not a Proverbs post but it is what has been on my heart this morning. I had a 4:30am wake up call from my 1yr old (just needed mommy) and the again at 5:30am. Then my 2.5yr old was up at 6am. It has not been the best morning. Lots a whining and crying. I'm not gonna lie...I pretty much want to do that same. If I could lay in the floor flailing my arms and legs crying, today might be the day I would do that. After such an early wake up call. I had to refocus my heart this morning. This was such an encouragement to me.

"Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's." Psalm 103 1-5

I am so thankful today for all that I am and all that I have in Christ. He is the reason that I am here and that I am alive. So thankful that he has forgiven my iniquity and redeemed my life from the pit! What an amazing thought. Praise the Lord of my soul!! He deserves my praise!

When all else fails and I am struggling with where I am in life and struggling with my day. I realize that all I need is Christ. I have Christ and my sweet hubs and babies and that is all that matters in the world. Thank you Lord for your loving-kindness. You loved me while I was unlovable you saved me from the pits. I am so very thankful that You love me. 

Amen...and Amen!